Everything in its right time. This means in God's time. Which, to be clear, is not my time. Anyone who has planted seeds before knows the anticipation of seeing the first few sprouts shoot up from the dark damp soil. It is exhilarating to notice that all your hopes and care are beginning to come to fruition. It is literally such a small thing, the first signs of a seedling sprouting are millimetres big! But maybe that is part of why it is so exciting. It's exciting because even though this first glimpse of new life is so small we know the great potential locked inside. The joy and beauty that can be experienced. The alluring flowers and the hum of the pollinators, the delicious produce, and the warmest of feelings when you get to feed those you love with something you have worked and cared for, for so long. It is maybe my Eastern European roots showing here, but feeding people is one of the purest ways to show and express love. All of these images, memories, and hopes are conjured in my mind when I see that first tiniest bit of plant popping out of the soil.
On the other hand, when you have prepared the soil, watered, and rotated your planters in the sun. Poured hours of your life into helping these little guys grow and nothing seems to be happening, it can be heartbreaking. All that you know could be, just isn't. It resonates with how I was feeling about my Church this summer with the echo-location findings at Kamloops, and the cries for the Pope and the Catholic Church to apologize. I watched like everyone else waiting for the Pope to say something, for the CCCB to say something, for our bishops to say something. It was a hard time for me. It was embarrassing at times for me to tell people that I work for the Catholic Church. That I am the Social Justice Coordinator, and to see the looks on peoples' faces when I said that. Why won't the Pope apologize!?!?!? Why won't the Canadian Church apologize!?!?!?!? Why are we asking for MORE MONEY!?!?!? and many other questions like those.
I know firsthand how much good the Catholic Church has done. I think of the great legacy of schools, orphanages, hospitals, universities, refugee sponsorship, the development work of Caritas organizations like Development and Peace Caritas Canada, and places of belonging for those who don't belong in our societies we have built and established. And yet, in this area, we seemed so slow to move. We know what is right, we know that the Indigenous Peoples' dignity, voice, spirituality, autonomy, culture, and family dynamics were intentionally attacked and dismantled. And we know that the Catholic Church had a role in this. To make things a bit more pointed for me, I know what the Catholic Social Teachings are, how we are called to uphold the dignity of all, and give preferential option to the oppressed. This made my grief even sharper.
So last week when the delegation finally got to travel to Rome, to meet with Pope Francis. He heard their stories. Pope Francis was listening, he was encountering, something we need to learn to do better, and then he apologized. "For the deplorable conduct of those members of the Catholic Church, I ask for God's forgiveness and I want to say to you with all my heart: I am very sorry. And I join my brothers, the Canadian bishops, in asking your pardon. Clearly, the content of the faith cannot be transmitted in a way contrary to the faith itself: Jesus taught us to welcome, love, serve and not judge; it is a frightening thing when, precisely in the name of the faith, counter-witness is rendered to the Gospel." (https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/read-the-full-text-of-the-pope-s-apology-for-canada-s-residential-schools-1.5844874)
I was so joy-filled when I heard this news. Finally! Yes! But just like seeing that first sprout of basil that I had almost given up on which miraculously showed up on the day of the papal apology, I know that this is just one of the first steps. We need to continue to grow, to allow time for mourning together, for nurturing, and for mutual respect to grow. Much like the basil I need to continue to water and care for what is just beginning. When the time is right we take the next step, and the next until we are walking together in a good way, and eating delicious food together as children of God.